Last New Moon 2016

​I am letting go of all negitive energy I have collected in 2016. I am forgiving everyone and finding peace. New moon bring me new opportunities for positive change. 2017 bring me new life and new hope for the futures gifts. I am letting go of all that is holding me back. I am calling on the energy and magick around me to surround myself in life and light. I am stepping out of the negitive space and dark hole I’ve been buried in and letting the light shine through. I refuse to feed the world’s hate and instead plan to be an agent of love and happiness. I am new as I shed my cocoon and spread my wings so I may sore and reach new hights. I am one with the universe and it’s energy flows around me. So as I say so shall it be. Out with the old in with the new.

2017 promise me

Things are moving fast but completely still at the same time. There are 15 more days left in the year of 2016 and I am honestly wondering what else will come my way these next two weeks. I know if I settle down and let myself feel like things are okay everything will just surprised attack me. So here I am standing with my back to a wall and armed, ready to fight my way to a beautiful tomorrow. I hope with every fiber of my being 2017 will be everything a new year promises. I hope it is filled with positive change and new beginnings. I want my family to be blessed and our stresses to tone down for at least 12 whole months. These last 2 years have been extremely hard and I really hope 1 year from now I can look back and say 2017 was great. 


Surround me with the purest light of protection. A light, snow white in perfection.

 Guild me through the darkness and cast off shadows and fear that linger over me. Be my shelter.

Strengthen me and make me whole. Fill my self with pure intent. Bring me solace and peace. 

Find me eden so I may frolic in its garden. Show me a promise of something so sweet. 

Give me dreams of the stars dancing on the ocean’s waves. Free me of worry. 

So shall I say it so shall it be.

Love is a friendship that catches fire.

​O amor é uma amizade que pega fogo

I am 1/3 Portuguese which may not seem like alot but the other 2/3 nationalities I am are so blended that the Portuguese is the one I am the most. I have tried over the years to learn the language, since I am from the south my slang makes it hard to pronounce things properly. I have taken the time to learn a few phases and scentence structures. Once my daughter learns how to read and write in English I plan on us both sitting down and learning some Portuguese together. My husband speaks German, Spanish, a little Italian, and English. So it is something I think we can do together as a family. 

I have always wanted to go to Portugal. My family’s name is Arrais and there is a small town in the country named de Arrais and I hope to travel there one day. My only dream I have had  my entire life is to travel.

I do deserve nice things.


I grew up having next to nothing. I think in some ways that is probably why I am super giving but I also feel so greedy sometimes. I am not materialistic as in I do not own anything nice but I have always wanted super nice things. I think at this point in my life I deserve some of those things. I am not sure if it’s vainity. Next year my husband and I will be buying our first house and I just feel the need to fill it with nice things. I don’t want my daughter to have a single memory of what I grew up like. I guess as a parent you want better things for your kid and sometimes I think that means for yourself as well.  I think it probably feels like greed because I have spent  these past two years in school not really working. I have had a job since I was 14 so it has been a strange experience not to have to work. I don’t want to forget where I came from but I also never want to live in  trash again. I want to help others without putting myself in the hole. Sometimes I give too much and put my family out of our basic needs. It is a rough balance of give and keep for yourself. random blog post. I have alot on my mind. My husband constantly reminds me that we do deserve nice things. We work hard we deserve the rewards. I just sometimes feel like I don’t deserve anything. It is something I am working on fixing. 

Pause.

So about me. 

I’ve restarted and deleted this blog about 3 times this past year. It gets hard when I am expressing how I feel because sometimes I get backlash from people I know. 

Religion 

I was raised Christian. I currently am trying to figure out what I actually believe. My problem is I always felt like there was so much more. I feel so connected to things that I just can’t  explain and this usually upsets the people in my life. I know I am an empath and it is incredibly overwhelming. Alot of the times I will write something and realize I am channeling someone else. I believe in shakras, I believe in auras, I believe in energy. I believe we are all greater than the things we have been told. So mostly I say my religion is happiness and love. I sometimes go to church for peace and understand other times I go to nature. I crave enlightenment.

I am a pisces so I am super emotional and creative. I am passionate and loyal. My spirit animal is a dragon. I was born in the year of the Monkey. 

I give to much of myself. I feel alone constantly because of this. I trust to easily. I hold grudges forever.

 I am a sunset on a rainy day.
And press PLAY.